benedictions, this year & henceforth

(originally on @mutabilitas__ from 6 jul 2026)

a lot of my life has been defined by that thin line demarcating the Want[Need] of Stability vs. the Pull of Stagnancy. some of them self-imposed, some (most) of them demanded by my circumstances. for almost 25 years my body was not allowed to — as my mind begged for it to do, too — run with reckless abandon. towards life; towards sinking my fingers into the roots of the world; past the outer amicable layers of my friendships; to the core of my beating screaming heart. yet my surface stayed silent. but i am tired of seeming unblemished by hurt.

Let me etch this mark of my mind into the contours of this world. Let me help you understand the way my cognition interprets and weighs this world. Let this care and ache seep and blur into your marrows, too.

I need to take this work — my life — seriously. And for that to happen, the fragmented pieces of myself and my work I’ve put out in the world need to be calibrated into focus from time to time: this is the purpose of this page. To collect and coalesce the refractions of my heart-brain-body.

Time and time again I’ve always said (justified?) that I was pulled to too many directions. What my 18 year old self did not know was that even then my hands still have work to do.